First Halloween

Our little lady


We had a Fall Festival at church. The girls decided to bury their faces when it was picture time.


The trunk for Trunk-or-treat Michael helped make.


What Isabella did the whole night...


Happy Halloween!

Update

Update to this post: I had an appointment with Ann, my midwife, this week and she went over the report of the ultra sound with me. Apparently there are 4 nodules on my thyroid. I had thought there was just two. She showed me the different measurements for the sizes of them. There is one larger one but it came back looking normal. According to the report one of the smaller ones "looks suspicious" and needs to be followed up with a biopsy. The biopsy has been scheduled for November 9th. It will be a fine needle biopsy , where they will insert a needle into the nodule and pull out some cells to run tests on. She said they may biopsy all four while they are doing it, or just the one they are concerned about. I hate needles of all kinds, no matter how "fine" they are, and would appreciate prayers for this procedure.

This was also my last follow up appointment with Ann. She will be retiring this year. We said goodbye and she gave me a big hug. I am really sad she won't be able to deliver any future children we have, but feel so blessed she was apart of our journey into parenthood.

Sleeping Peacefully

Hoo loves you baby? We do!

Pumpkin Patch

We went to the Parkhurst Pumpkin Patch this weekend. Although our little pumpkin slept through our visit there, it looks like a great place for a fall family tradition. The kids that were old enough to walk were having a blast with the pony rides, petting zoo, hay ride, hay maze, tire swings, and other fun things to do. Next year Isabella can run all over the place.


Our Autumn blessing. The weather was beautiful this day and we enjoyed being in the sun. The pumpkin patch is also out by Pops, so we enjoyed a pop on our way home.


When you leave you get to take home a small pumpkin. The pumpkins represent the members of our family. Can you figure out who is who?


Happy Fall from our little pumpkin!

One Month

Isabella,
You are one month today! Daddy and I can hardly believe it!
When they first laid you on my chest in the hospital I couldn't believe how perfect you were. I had prayed so much for you and for your health, and so many prayers were answered in that instant. You have brought so much joy into our lives in this short time. We have spent the last month getting to know you and trying to figure out this whole parenthood thing. Between Daddy and I you have been called lots of names- Isabella, Izzy, Izzy-G, Gracie, Izzy Bear, Sweet Girl, I-Mitch- hopefully you will know what your real name is!

You still like to nap on our chests with your feet tucked up in the frog position. I love napping with you like this too. It reminds me of how you were tucked up in my tummy when I was pregnant with you. I hold you a lot and know some times I should put you down for your naps and do other things. But you will only be this little for a short time. When I was pregnant you had the hiccups every day the last several weeks and you still get the hiccups every day now.

You love bath time with your daddy, and baths seem to calm you. Daddy has been so great with taking care of you and me. He changed all of your diapers while we were in the hospital and lots still after we came home. He loves giving you baths, and rocking you on his chest. He is very sweet with you when you are screaming and made a play list of music for you. He dances with you in the living room and flies you around. He is completely in love with you. He was so sad to go back to work after his time at home with us. He was an awesome labor partner with me in the hospital and has been so kind during times when I have been having a hard time this last month.

You spent your one month birthday with Mimi, Aunt Flower, and me at Affair of the heart. Usually we can be in and out of there in 3-4 hours. But this time we were there for 6 hours and didn't make it through all of the buildings. You did so great. You slept the whole time snuggled up in the sling with me, other than when you ate and had your diaper changed.

You have such sweet smiles while you are sleeping and we are looking forward to when you will smile when you recognize us.

Daddy and I think you are so beautiful. We are always telling you this. I wish I could protect you from the harshness that comes in life at times. Some day, people may make fun of things about you or say mean things that hurt your feelings. I wish during those times you could see yourself how I see you. I love your bright eyes, your perfect lips, and sweet smiles. We pray for you now and for your future.
Our life has changed so much with you in it and we love having you here with us.
Love you sweet girl,
Mommy

Life these days

I had to be gone for a little while this week to see a client at work for a final session I was supposed to see the day I ended up being induced. Even though I feel good leaving Isabella with Michael, I still hate being gone. Michael snapped this picture of us after I got home and needed to love on my baby girl for a while.


Michael was home with us today for his day of fall break. It was so great to have him home with us. We had planned to go to a pumpkin patch, but decided not to since it rained all day. Instead, we ran several errands I had been wanting to do, and went and got this sling I had been wanting. Here is Michael modeling it..."Look no hands he is saying".


Izzy fell asleep in it.

We also had her 1 month well baby check today. She is up to 9lbs 3 oz, and the Dr. said she looked great. She had to have one shot, which I hated, but she just screamed for less than a minute.

Life sure is different these days. Typically are really busy (probably too busy), have lots of plans, and on the go a lot. But these days we are home a lot, and our cash envelope for eating out/entertainment has not got the use it normally does. Tonight we had leftovers for dinner and then walked to the blockbuster by our house with Izzy in her stroller...and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Going anywhere by myself with her still feels like a bit of an ordeal, and the few times that I have been gone from her I am so anxious to get back. I *think* I am beginning to adjust to the lack of sleep...somewhat. :) I am loving being a mom and staying home with her. Some days I accomplish a lot and other days the only thing that gets accomplished is feeding and rocking my baby- which is just fine with me. The days and nights have flown by, and I can't believe tomorrow she will be one month old! Even with the difficult parts, I know this time while she is so little and needs so much from me will be gone before we know it and I cherish it so much!

Parts of our week in pictures

Week Three:

We were both sad for Michael to return to work this past week. Isabella wore her 'I love Daddy' onesie in honor of him his first day back to work even though it is too big for her.


We went on a walk one afternoon.


We had lunch with Heather and Ava. The girls could hardly stand the excitement!


We rocked and held hands.


Had a bath


Cheered on the Sooners


They made so many touchdowns she got really bored with it.

We had a good week and had visits from special friends every day. I still just stare at her and can't believe I have a baby. But when I wake up at 3AM to feed her it feels very real! :)

It must be Fall

This week I: painted my nails my favorite OPI fall color of 'Can't a berry have some fun?', had a pumpkin spice latte at panera, made pumpkin chocolate chip muffins, had the windows in our house open, bought honeycrisp apples, and the neighbors put a head in their bird bath to decorate for Halloween. It must be Fall! :)

Trusting God with the 'what ifs'

I had many tests ran in the hospital after I had Isabella due to some complications I was having. The only finding from all of the tests was that there were some nodules on both sides of my thyroid. Ann told me I would have to get an ultrasound done and then depending on the results I would see a surgeon or an endocrinologist. Today was the day of the ultrasound appointment. It was weird to see an ultrasound image with no baby in it!

Ann told me about this appointment two days after I had gone home from the hospital and I was exhausted and still in pain. I tell that to justify for myself freaking out when we left the appointment. My mind immediately began thinking over the 'what ifs'. Will I have to have surgery? Will I have a huge scar on my neck? (Because obviously it would be better to have something harmful stay in your body than have a scar on your neck! Ridiculous!) If I have to have surgery- will I still be able to nurse my baby? And then my worst what ifs...what if I have cancer, and what if I die and don't see my baby grow up. See-I told you-I freaked out for a few minutes. But I needed a minute to do so and then become rational!

A week or so prior when I was on bed rest and we were deciding about being induced, my best friend prayed over me and reminded me of Peter walking toward Jesus during the storm. He began to sink when he stopped looking toward Jesus and let his focus get caught up in the storm. I read that passage and was really struck with how easy that can happen if we are not careful. During the storms of life we can choose where our focus is or allow the storm to captivate us and let doubt take over.

One of my favorite studies I have done is the book 'Calm my anxious heart'. There is a chapter in the book about trusting God with our what ifs. I re-read that chapter this week. These words stuck out to me: "When what ifs come into our lives, we must ask ourselves if we are going to judge God by the circumstances we don't understand or judge the circumstances in light of the character of God. We can only trust God when our focus is on Him and not our circumstances."

Is God not bigger than all of the circumstances we face?

I waited over two and half weeks for this appointment and hoped to get results today, but they said they would call in about a week with results. So more waiting. Luckily, taking care of Isabella and adjusting to being a new mom has kept me busy and not really thinking about it after my initial freak out. I guess the up side of waiting is that it gives me another chance to practice trusting God with the outcome of the results and attempting to choose peace over fear.

"Our what ifs will either drive us to God and faith or they will drive us to worry and dependence of self. God gives peace and contentment; worry gives illness and misery".

Newborn pictures

Our friend at church took Isabella's newborn pictures. You can check out her website here. There are so many good ones, but here are just a few of my favorites.














Another friend knits and made all of the knitted items. Check out her website here.

"All she does is sleep"

My nephews were excited to meet Isabella, but they were a little disappointed when they realized she doesn't "do" much. Isaac commented, "all she does is sleep!". They should come visit in the night and see her in action.
But it is true, she does sleep a lot.

Sleeping in her car seat


Sleeping in her bouncy seat


Sleeping with daddy

Two Firsts

First mall trip: Michael's iPhone wasn't working one day this week, so we made a trip to the apple store at Penn Square. As you can tell from her face, Isabella was thoroughly under-impressed with the selection of dresses we saw at the mall for her first time to go to church. She slept the whole time.


Our first Sunday at church as a family of three. This Sunday was baby dedication day at our church. She did great through the whole service, and then cried for part of the time while we were up front. Many of our family members were able to join us, including Isabella's grandparents and great-grandparents.


At home after church telling me all about her big day out.

Bath time

Isabella loves her sponge baths with her daddy...

Her cord came off so we will be giving her her first real bath soon.


Big Yawn!

I am loving sleeping on my back, seeing my ankles again, taking showers as hot as I can stand them, and being at home all together. Michael has two weeks off work. I can't believe one has already gone by!

Decisions

Last Tuesday we went in for our 39 week appointment. At the appointment, my blood pressure was elevated into a range that they were concerned about and there was some protein in my urine. My midwife was concerned because both of these can be symptoms of preeclampsia.

I was sent down to the lab to get some blood drawn, given a massive jug to collect all my urine in for the next 24 hours, and told that I had to go on bed rest. She also said depending on the results of the labs that induction might be recommended. I was in shock, because up until that point, everything had been progressing normally and our appointments had been very routine. The midwives had been very laid back up to that point and had been telling me most first time babies don't come on time, and many not until 41 weeks or later. So I had clients scheduled over the next few days, a friend's birthday to celebrate, and I was looking forward to having time off work to relax before she came.

We went home and I began bed rest. I called Karen, the lady we did our birthing classes with and talked everything over. We had met with her in her home and she had shared her wisdom of 35 years of assisting people with unmedicated births. She had talked to us about the higher risk of C-section with induction and other medical interventions. Ironically, that was part of why we had chosen the midwives was because we wanted as few medical interventions as necessary. I spent the next 24 hours praying, resting, and collecting my pee. We had to be back at the lab 24 hours from the first blood draw to have more blood taken and return the urine jug.


Here I am at 39 weeks- the day before she was born.


Preparing for my walk of shame...carrying my urine sample from the last 24 hours.

After the lab work we went back for an appointment with my midwife. My blood pressure was still elevated. She said she had consulted with two of the OB's in the office and they both strongly recommended induction. She told us at this point it did not look like I had preeclampsia, but I did have gestational hypertension. She told us that the way to treat the hypertension was to have the baby. Not having the baby could mean risk of stroke, placenta eruption, seizures during labor, and the possibility of extra medication if my blood pressure reached the next highest level. She said the hospital had been really full, so she had already called over to see if a spot was available for the next day. There was and she reserved us a place for induction at 6 AM the next day. She told us to think it over, make a decision, and show up the next morning if we wanted to induce and no show if we didn't. I couldn't believe it. Everything felt like it was going so fast. The other thing she told us is that she would not be on duty the next day, another midwife, Ann, was on duty. This was the one piece of good news to me. We had several appointments with Ann and I really trusted and liked her.

We went home, me in tears, with a stop at Sonic for a Snickers Blast. I called Karen again. She said maybe it was a blessing that Ann was on duty because she is even more conservative with those types of decisions than my midwife. Michael and I decided we would show up for the 6:00 appointment and ask to speak with Ann before we were admitted to the hospital. Depending on her recommendation, we would decide.

I had thought we would go on a last date before becoming parents, but I was told whatever we decided about inducing it was going to be bed rest for me until she came. So Michael's dad kindly brought over my favorite meal from Texas Roadhouse and we had a date night at home. The rest of the evening was spent packing, visiting with friends that came by, and having cake with my family for my mom's birthday.

Early the next morning we headed over to OU Children's hospital and although I am pushing 30, I felt like a scared child. The nurse that met us, was confused by our request to not be admitted, but went and got Ann for us. We talked things over with Ann, and she also recommended that we induce. She gave us time to think it over, and we made our decision. Embarking on our parenthood journey, I knew it was just one of many decisions where we would weigh risks, pray, and decide what was best for our family. I cried...(its just what I do) as we told Ann we wanted to move forward. She wrapped me in the kindest grandmotherly hug and let me cry. Then the day that we will now know as our daughter's birthday began.

I will have to save her birth story for another day. For one this post has already become way too long. While my body has been healing over the last several days, I have been processing everything that happened. It is what I do. I help people process their own life stories, make sense of them, and decide how to proceed. I process things for myself in a similar way. I have needed to be quiet. I have needed it to be OK to not return phone calls or emails right away. Some days I have needed to just wear pajamas all day and I've needed to get out of the house for a few minutes on others. I have needed my mother who clips my toenails and sits with me during late night feedings. I have needed to be still in my soul and just enjoy rocking the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.


I had meant to take a picture of Isabella and Ann the night she was born, but I forgot. Fortunately, I had to go back for a follow up appointment with her two days after we went home and I got to take this picture. Here we are with Ann who delivered Isabella. Ann is retiring this year and though she is someone we may not ever see again after our last follow up appointment, we love her like family. She has been such a blessing to us.

Psalm 23:2-3a
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside quiet waters,
He restores my soul.