Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Today

Got up. Read about therapy with ADHD children. Went to group supervision. Had lunch and bible study with Kristin. Drove home. Ate smart ones. Went to church in the pm. Went to starbucks. (Came home to do nothing. :) Read cousin's blogs and cried. Talked to Audrey. Great weather today...Fall is coming.

Still I notice you when change begins and I embrace for colder winds, I will offer thanks for what has been and what's to come...you are Autumn.
-Nicole Nordman, every season

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Some lyrics I like say, no words to say no words to convey these feelings inside I have for you... I feel as though I have so much to say, so many feelings, and yet so limited to verbalize things.
I find change very difficult, yet it happens around me all the time. I have been overwhelmed with sorrow with the changes that have taken place and the ones that will be coming in the future. The Sunday night I had to say goodbye to my Granny, I was faced with another overwhelming change. I think part of why change is hard for me is I often look back with regret instead of looking forward to what good will come from the change. I wish I had visited Granny more...at home and in the hospital. As I stood over her bed Sunday night I desperately wanted to speak, but there were no words. I took my bible with me to read the words of Paul that kept coming to my mind about her, I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race...and I have kept the faith...but the words failed me. All I could do was stand over her and cry like a baby, which was the last thing I wanted to do in front of her. She reached her hands up towards me and I leaned over and she began wiping the tears away from my face. Every time I think about this moment I am humbled and overwhelmed that even in death Granny reached out to comfort me. She mouthed the words live a good life...I love you. I managed to tell her I loved her too (Although I was crying like a banshee...or bitter beer face as my cousin calls it).
When I think about the words live a good life I think of so many things that encompasses... Granny knew about living a good life. A life that is in service to God and his people. A life that is shared with someone who loves you faithfully. A life full of family that love each other. A life spent walking closely with God and in appreciation for his creation.
I hope to grow in these qualities and live a life that is with less regret. I believe that God brings blessings into our lives and He is always working in a way that I may not understand...but often my life does not live out that belief. I spend too much time in regret and anxiety about what has happened or might happen rather than allowing God to fill me with his peace that passes all understanding.
I hope and pray to live a life that can be called a good life...

Dallas Today

I went to Dallas today for a Baseball event for the University. We're trying to raise 2.5 million to build a new baseball stadium and today was basically an informational session for our alumni in the area to let them know about the things the school's trying to do. It as a lunch event at the Diamond Club in the outfield of the Ballpark in Arlington. There were about 25-30 alumni there and I got to meet a lot of new people. We didn't ask anyone for money today, but there were a lot of involved alumni there whom I expect will step up to the plate (pun intended) and help make the baseball vision a reality. Aside from the athletic director putting me on the spot and asking me to get up and say something on behalf of the alumni program without any advance notice, I really think the event was a sucess. And... if I do say so myself, I think I did a pretty good job delivering a spur of the moment/off the cuff "speech" about all the exciting things going on at the University.

I rode down there and back with my VP and that went really well. I've known it all along, but today's trip made me realize that I work for a really good, really wise man (it's not sucking up when you don't use any names in an anonymous blog that only a few people read). We talked a lot about my job/role within the program and he gave me a lot of helpful ideas and direction. Not only that, but he also had a lot of wise things to say about being a godly man and a good husband. I feel like that if I could take one road trip per month with him, that I would never lose direction or motivation at work (not that that's happened yet).

So... that was my day in a nutshell. Did I mention that I'm really enjoying my job? It's funny because 12 months ago I never would've guessed that I would be doing this kind of work... much less enjoying it. God has always provided for me and this job is just one of the many ways that he continues to bless my life.