Life ramblings

I've been thinking about the cycle of life with some life circumstances these days. Isabella asked my mom a few weeks ago where her Mom was. Mom tried to explain to my 2 year old about her mom being gone, and not coming back. (Isabella told her she would take care of her since her mom was gone now.)
My grandparents are all gone. I'm the middle generation in our family now. I'm expecting a second baby. Life marches forward. We recently attended the funeral of a dear family friend, who was still young. There is something profound to me about watching a parent bury a child. While I know there are no guarantees in life, when that happens it seems to go against the natural life cycle. Parents don't expect to outlive their children.
I was baking and cooking the other day and Michael commented it was like Dorothy Jean (my grandmother) at Christmas. I miss my grandma. I wish she could have met my babies. 

We had a picnic at the lake a couple of weeks ago with the college friends we get together with every month. I am grateful for this purposeful time together, not knowing what life will bring to each of us. It's important to carve out time for those relationships that last across time, through each of our life cycles- however long they may be.

One of the many things I love about being a parent is watching the joy that unfolds from simple things in life from my child.

When life can feel heavy  sometimes, I cherish even more the oblivious happiness in simple things that children experience.

I'm so grateful for all of the good things in our life, our little growing family, our families, and many special friends.

Our Spring weather has been all over the place. An ice storm last week. 80's, 50's, lows in the 30's then back the 70's. But as far as wrapping up a pregnancy goes, I'll take this weather over the record days of straight 100's I had with Isabella's pregnancy.

We had a picnic on one of the nice days and played at the park until it was nap time.

Then on one of the cooler days we had lunch indoors and played at the "mountains" also known as the fountains. And although we hadn't been to this mall in a long time, Isabella said "we had lunch here with Mimi when it was Christmas time." I'm amazed at what she remembers sometimes.

The questions I get the most these days are "how are you feeling?" and "are you so ready to have that baby?"
 I get a lot of other comments and questions...many of which are so ridiculous and rude its amazing to me what people say without even thinking. Things you would never say to a person who wasn't pregnant, but it is somehow acceptable to say to a pregnant person...filters people- find them. That's a whole other post, though. But people are also extra kind and helpful too- like the girl at walmart last night who closed her lane after checking me out (I was the only person in it) and walked with me out to my car insisting on putting the bags in my car, despite me telling her she didn't need to do that. (Granted this was after she commented I was so big I should be at home on bed rest, but she totally went out of her way to be helpful.)
Anyway- how am I feeling? I feel well most of the time. Other than during the day I find myself slowing down faster and feeling more tired, I feel fine. I have some bad acid reflux sometimes. At night...I'm pretty miserable after a couple of hours it is impossible to be comfortable to sleep. And sometimes I'm just awake and can't sleep. But there are much worse things.

39 weeks

Am I ready? I don't even know how to answer this question in a short manner. Because, as I learned last time, the truth, is the time can come whether you're ready or not. Expectations are a big thing to me, and this is something that I have a ballpark for, but no exact timing of when it will be. Am I ready to meet my son? Of course. I can't wait to know him, see him, hold him, and soak him in. I am ready to not be carrying a full term person inside of my body. My hospital bag is packed with a list of the last minute things I'll need to add in. Michael and I had a great last pre-baby date... But, on the other hand there are plenty of things I would like to see through before he comes. I'm hosting a shower this weekend, going to a birthday party, wrapping up a couple of things at work, we haven't painted his room- or even purchased the paint, his bedding isn't ready, along with a host of other things on my constant to-do list. Yet at the same time, if I went into labor tonight, there is nothing I'd like to have done that won't be OK to wait on or will be taken over by someone else. So I guess I can be ready if needed to be, but I'm great with more time too.

Isabella and I have had some great days this past week, and I've loved just enjoying her. She has been cheerful, singing funny songs, and saying all kinds of new things. And while I'm somewhat anxious about how she will transition to having a sibling, I can't wait to see them together.  At bed time when we read books she says, "I fit in your lap better after Ben-german comes?" :) I told her that once a few weeks ago and now she always says it. We are both looking forward to her fitting in my lap better again. Maybe if I make it through the weekend, I'll feel more ready for it to happen any time, but for now I'm just trying to set my expectations that whenever it happens it will be the right time.

Easter

 I'd been gathering a few things for Isabella's Easter basket since January, and I was excited to give it to her. Michael surprised me Easter morning with my favorite- snickers eggs, a frappuccino, and flowers.

Pink fingernails by Daddy. 
She bit the bunny ears off her chocolate right away, and wanted to color with her new colors.
Michael's parents joined us for church and then we headed to my mom's house for lunch.

Each place setting had an egg and name card. My egg had money inside for a pedicure, which is awesome because the night before I bent over to paint my toenails...which was a ridiculous task at 9 months pregnant! Try sitting down with a large pumpkin in your lap and attempt to paint your toes with a steady hand.

 Mom makes an egg shaped chocolate chip cookie every year. 

 More egg hunting

Last egg hunt of the week, in the books!

We napped that afternoon and had left over ham and homemade bread for dinner. 

* I later realized we took no family pictures on Easter. I attempted to take a picture with Isabella on the way to my mom's...this is how they turned out:

Saturday

We went to an egg hunt with Michael's family on Saturday. We've heard about it for years, but this was our first time to go.  There were eggs GALORE!

Story time and waiting for the egg hunt to start. 

They told the story using resurrection eggs. I plan on doing those with her next year.

She could not wait for the hunt to start, but her steam after a while. There were SO many eggs!

Checking out her eggs 

There were chickens, pigs, cows, swings, and a trampoline to play on. I think we have enough candy to last us until Halloween!!

Chocolate mouth. 
It was a fun morning with family!

We all napped that afternoon after a bad night of sleep with lots of Thunderstorms. I remember when it was nice to go to sleep with Thunderstorms! But right now, for our two year old they are scary. I ran some errands, (alone!), and came back to head out to dinner. After dinner we went to play at Lake Hefner. Since we moved we don't go near as much, and I love it there.

The lake was alive with families playing, people running, and just hanging out. I thought about my half marathon training while we were there because I did a lot of it on the trails there. Being able to run feels like a distant memory, but some day I will train for something again. The sun was just starting to set as we needed to head home. It was a good day.